Let’s Talk Beauty – Dear Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Let's Talk Beauty

 

It is a miserable thing how I cannot seem to fall in love with myself. Selfish it may sound coming from my own clumsy tongue, but that is where romance starts, isn’t it? Inside ones own soul? Rippling out from bones to every piece of skin one has had trouble falling in love with?

We have blemishes and we carry scars. We are tarnished, tainted, and decorated with filth; but beneath the dust, the dirt, there lives always diamonds, and behind every cloudy night, lives always, a sea of endless stars.”

Christoper Poindexter

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Dear Cosmopolitan Magazine,

Despite what you may say in the countless articles covering your magazine and website: people have flaws. I want to address the fact that all of your models are photoshopped to be society’s definition of beautiful and I honestly wonder who started that definition in the first place.

Because of you, the 8 year old girl I used to babysit was already struggling with self-esteem. Because of you, my friends glorified the bone-thin body figure that you call acceptance. The mirror no longer held a sense of beauty, but a sense of false hope of a young girl that no longer loved herself.

When I was 11, I looked down at the stretch marks on the inner section of my thighs and wondered why I had them when the other girls my age didn’t. I listened as the older women in my life had always tried to get rid of their’s and read the magazines that told me stretch marks were ugly and shaming.

When I was 13, the internet fell in love with skinny waists and big breasts and I looked down at a body I grew to hate and wondered who could ever love someone who could not hold the definition of beauty like a name tag.

I was 14 years old when I got my first pimple. All of my friends had already started dealing with acne for years and I was forced to believe that in order to be beautiful, I had to conceal whatever imperfection stumbled upon me.

Because of you, 110 pounds felt too heavy for my 15 year old body to be happy with what she saw in the mirror and most of my friends had a BMI lower than their age.

And Cosmo, I wonder why you glorify these feelings for every age to read. I wonder why you feel the need to airbrush women who don’t meet your body standard. I wonder why you feel the need to makeover faces that are already beautiful. Then I realized that society buys “beauty” in plastic surgery contracts, waist trainers, and a trend that will change again next Spring. Why is it that natural bodies is an alien concept?!?!?

Screw your photohopped standards of beauty!

Girls should not be sexualized. I repeat, woman of all ages should not have to push up their breasts and wear mini skirts to be attractive. No, I don’t want to read your sex tips that tell me I have to wear matching lingerie by the time I turn 16. I don’t want to read that I have to workout for men to notice me. Don’t tell me I have to give in to a man’s needs even when I say no. Don’t tell me to try harder. Stop sexualizing men and woman and start telling them to confident with who they already are. 

Another thing, what gives Cosmo and it’s readers the right to judge complete strangers to them? The last time I flipped through a Cosmo, it basically held things like:

  • Which outfit would look best on her?
  • Drool over this topless man and vote!
  • Rate this celeb’s outfit!

Or even things like:

  • *insert celebrity name* has this and now you should buy it.
  • *insert diet section with a girl advertising some “health” item*

Unfortunately, dear Cosmopilitan Magazine, it’s not just you. It’s every article online or on paper. To the men and women out there who look at those and feel alienated becuase of a “flaw,” I want you to know that there’s nothing you need to change about yourself.

Every curve, every straight edge, every stretch mark, every cellulite dimple, every pimple, every freckle, every hair, and every scar on my body is beautiful. I no longer need you to tell me that I’m not.

Sincerely,

A teenage girl.

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If you’re reading this, I want you to leave an encouraging message in the comment section in hopes that someone might read it. In this day and age, people should be uplifting others and not tearing them down. Check out my last post about self-love: Let’s Talk Beauty – Practicing Self Love On Valentine’s Day and don’t forget to pass along the love to someone else.

To everyone struggling with their self esteem because of something someone may have said, or something you heard, or read: I want you to know that you are more than what people think of your appearance. You are loved from the deepest part of the sea to the darkest part of the galaxy and you just don’t know it yet. Your body holds the kind of beauty that people aren’t  comfortable with yet and that’s okay because what people say doesn’t matter.

Fat is not a bad word.

Thin is not a bad word.

Acne is not a bad word.

Wearing what makes you feel good is perfectly okay!

Saying no to sex does not make you a prude.

Saying yes to sex does not make you a whore.

Wearing short shorts is not “asking for it.”

Your sexuality does not define your worth.

If someone doesn’t like you for you, then it’s time to move on from that person.

And lastly, having feelings is okay. You should never let anyone put you down for feeling a certain way.

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I hope you enjoyed “Dear Cosmopolitan.” Happy Wednesday!

 

xoxo

 

 

 

 

14 Comments Add yours

  1. chelday says:

    Such an important read. The body shaming goes for all different body types, too. I feel like for most of my life I’ve been unhappy with my body and it’s all because of what other people say. I’ve always been pretty petite. I didn’t hit 100 pounds until my sophomore year of high school (I’m also only 5’2). But I just had a super fast metabolism growing up. I can’t tell you how many times I had to hear “eat a cheeseburger! get some meat on those bones!” and it really got to me. I hated having a skinny petite body. Now that I’ve gotten older, my body has changed and my curves have filled out. And now I find myself wishing I still had that fast metabolism! It’s crazy because it does all come back to social media and what people find to be the “ideal” body type. You’re right, though. None of that changes who I am on the inside and that’s truly what matters. When you’re confident in your skin, it shows and that is true beauty.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. klolszewski says:

      Thank you for sharing such a personal experience! I agree, it goes for all bodies. It’s like never ending cycle. If you’re under weight, people tell you to eat. If you’re overweight, people tell you to diet. If you’re in the middle, they find flaws to point out. Society will never be happy but that’s okay as long as we can be comfortable with ourselves and stand up against body-shamers.

      Like

  2. ckp132016 says:

    I love this! Thank you for using your voice to bring light to issues every young woman/girl faces.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the honesty you have in this post. In todays generation magazines like this make everything looked perfect, it only depends on us readers how to perceive in these kind of falsity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. klolszewski says:

      I agree! Everyone definitely has different ways on viewing everything. I always commend the people who are care-free. It’s rare to see.

      Like

  4. Sarah says:

    Your post speaks the truth in a day and age where everything is a competition and an attempt to be something we are not created to be. It’s so important to be happy with you are, and not wishing to be someone you can never be. I wish I’d had the confidence that you do when I was in my teen years. Thank you for this post. I really appreciated it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. klolszewski says:

      I have completely struggled with accepting myself for years. Even now, it’s hard. The most important thing is trying to be confident with yourself. I still don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, but that’s from my views and nobody else’s. I will no longer compare myself to others, but compare myself to me. Thanks for reading, Sarah!

      Like

  5. michgraune says:

    It’s hard to live up to a standard being set out by society. I agree with you on so many levels and thank you for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. klolszewski says:

      Thank you for reading! I hope this resonates well with you towards the way you portray yourself!

      Like

  6. Caylin says:

    Totally agree with this post! Beauty is not defined by what we see in the magazines, beauty is about loving yourself in the skin you’re in. Great post!

    Like

    1. klolszewski says:

      I’m so glad you agree, Caylin! I hope you pass on this agreement with others in your every day life and see yourself as a work of art!

      Like

  7. What an incredible post! Thank you for sharing your story. Being happy with yourself can be so difficult in a world where everything is telling you what the “perfect body” is supposed to look like. But it is so important to love everything about yourself and not compare yourself to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Well said! Fashion magazines, commercials and practically everywhere we look is all about perfection. Being happy with how you look is so important and yet these sources are constantly telling us that it’s wrong and that is not a good thing. As long as we are happy with how we look then that is all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

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